Robot Marathon Blazes New Paths on the Linoleum

Posted in humor, robotics on February 28th, 2011 by Samuel Kenyon

Whereas in America we’ve been wasting our robot races on autonomous cars that can drive on real roads without causing Michael Bay levels of collateral damage, Japan has taken a more subtle approach.

Their “history making” bipedal robot race involves expensive toy robots stumbling through 422 laps of a 100 meter course, which is followed by visually tracking colored tape on the ground (I’m making an assumption there–the robots may actually be even less capable than that).  This is surely one of the most ingenious ways to turn old technology into a major new PR event.

the finish line

I assume they weren't remote controlling these "autonomous" robots during the race.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any video or photos of the 100 meter course; instead I have this:

And the winner is…Robovie PC!  Through some uncanny coincidence, that was operated by the Vstone team, the creators of the race.

Robovie PC

Robovie PC sprints through the miniature finish line. The robots on the sides are merely finish line holder slaves.

The practical uses of this technology are numerous.  For instance, if you happen to have 42.2 km of perfectly level and flat hallways with no obstructions, one of these robots can follow colored tape around all day without a break(down), defending the premises from vile insects and dust bunnies.

photoshop of a cat carrying a small robot

There's no doubt that in the next competition, they will continue to improve their survival capabilities.

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5 Important Themes in Science Fiction Cinema, or Cultivating Bad Taste

Posted in culture, humor on February 21st, 2011 by Samuel Kenyon

Yesterday I attended the 48th episode of Boskone, a science fiction literature convention held in Boston.  I found that Boskone was not just about books however, illuminating me with discussion panels such as “The Five Definitive Criteria By Which SF Cinema Is to Be Judged.”

Robot Monster

Warning: This blog post is about to get silly.

The panel consisted of Esther Friesner, Craig Shaw Gardner (lord of obscure SF movies), Ginjer Buchanan, and Bruce Coville.

"Five Definitive Criteria..." panel @ Boskone 48

They considered science fiction writer John C. Wright’s criteria:

1. Is there a hot babe in a skintight and/or revealing future-suit?



2. Is there a gorilla?

Bride of the Gorilla

Bride of the Gorilla

3. Is there a robot?

The Gunslinger from Westworld

The Gunslinger (Yul Brynner) from Westworld

4. Does any character have Way Cool mind powers?

Big Trouble in Little China

Big Trouble in Little China

5. Does a planet get blown up?

exploding planet

This shit just got real.

The gorilla requirement forced the large part of the discussion into the realm of cheap B movies such as Rock ‘N’ Roll Wrestling Women Vs. the Aztec Ape. In fact, the only two non-B movies featuring gorillas I can think of off the top of my head are Congo and Mighty Joe Young.

Of course, if you stretch the definition of gorilla to include other kinds of apes, you can start considering the Planet of the Apes movies and 2001: A Space Odyssey. But even those don’t meet all the criteria. Many movies get 4/5, for instance Star Trek (2009) and Forbidden Planet.

Forbidden Planet

Forbidden Planet

The most obvious movie that can meet all five criteria is Star Wars: Episode IV, if “gorillas” is stretched to include Wookies.

I pointed out to the panel that if we include TV series, then Aqua Teen Hunger Force has definitely met all five criteria. I didn’t mention the ATHF movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters, because I don’t think it featured any planets being blown up or a gorilla.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

Hopefully they will rectify that in the ATHF sequel Death Fighter, planned for release in summer 2012. And in case you were wondering, rumors have it that Bruce Campbell will return to voice Chicken Bittle. Thus, once again I have an excuse to end a blog post with that grand sci-fi thespian.

Bruce Campbells

Bruce Campbells

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When Mainstream Attacks: Robot Tropes That Never Die

Posted in culture, humor, transhumanism on February 17th, 2011 by Samuel Kenyon

Science comedian Brian Malow has made a video containing neither comedy nor science:

When Robots Attack! Should We Fear a Singularity?

And yes, I realize I shouldn’t have even bothered to watch it once I realized it was for a mainstream news outlet, but several people in my Twitter lists were tweeting it.

Unfortunately, this video turned out not to be for nerds or anyone who has ever thought about future robots or the Singularity.  This video is for mainstream sheep.  The only glimmer of hope was when he started pursuing the thread of asking why humans have this tendency to punish themselves in robot stories with a father figure or in the manner of Frankenstein.  After a couple seconds of that we’re dropped back into cliché city with “robot uprisings.”

The Roomba is mentioned—and then—holy shit, iRobot makes military robots too!  OMG!  Wait…everybody knows that already.  Big deal.  I guess Time readers/watchers are really behind the…times.  And sure, I’m not being fair—Time readers may not have heard of every robot company, after all.  Thank goodness this video shows Big Dog and Robonaut, two unrelated robots made by other companies, wedged in between the iRobot clips while Malow lobs the old joke at us that the cleaning robots will decide to kill humans.

Sure, it’s supposed to be funny.  But it’s not, because it’s unoriginal and out of date and/or not real enough (some humor is effective because it’s so close to the truth).  As William Zinsser said of humor writers:

They’re not just fooling around.  They are as serious in purpose as Hemingway or Faulkner—in fact, a national asset in forcing the country to see itself clearly.

Occasionally I do see a humor piece on the web that achieves this, sometimes even from big places like or The Onion.

Partly, it’s just a matter of taste.  Surely some people found Malow’s robot/singularity video funny; after all, millions of people out there paid money to see Meet the Fockers and Little Fockers.  Millions of people…laughing when they’re told to at tired jokes and clichés.

Of course, maybe it’s too difficult to be funny with robots—you have to be creative and you’re not sure what your target audience will grok.  But, please, if you’re going to make yet another joke about the “robot uprising,” at least make it a new joke.

If you think I’m biased against people making fun of robots or my company, think again: The Daily Show beat Malow to the punch and made fun of iRobot in 2009 (“Roombas of Doom“), and it was much funnier than Malow’s attempt, although still very far removed from reality:

So why do I even bother ranting about mainstream tropes and lack of creativity?  Well, the problem is it’s infecting even those not in the mainstream.  Almost every person, even if they are scientists or engineers, seems to be obligated to mention AI overlords and robot uprisings as if there are no possible other hooks available.  Every single military robot related article I have seen on the Internet mentions Terminator.  It’s as if the bulk of our culture has been reduced to a mere handful of common concepts, and more and more people are being sucked into this pit of mental inbreeding.

Cross-posted with Science 2.0.

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Inception Infoporn

Posted in culture, humor on September 14th, 2010 by Samuel Kenyon

Christopher Nolan’s Inception has spawned some interesting things on the intertubes.

Behold this infographic by Rick Slusher showing the paths of the characters through the nested dreams (and who hosted each dream):

Inception narrative infographic

Surely that would make Tufte proud and warrants as much attention as Charles Joseph Minard’s famous graphic showing the time-place losses of Napoleon’s army during the Russian campaign of 1812…

…and more than matches xkcd’s movie chart excellence:

Lord of the Rings narrative chart

As a curious comparison, here is director Christopher Nolan’s own diagram:

Christopher Nolan's Inception narrative diagram with dream levels

Here is another Inception graphic–it shows the same info in a different way, although it doesn’t get across the time duration increases as the first graphic does.  It also states that Fischer hosted Limbo which disagrees (I think) with Nolan’s diagram.

Inception narrative flowchart

And now, just for fun:

Inception comic-style joke about the plot

Image Credits:

  1. Rick Slusher via Co.Design
  2. Minard via Edward Tufte
  3. Randall Munroe (xkcd)
  4. Inception: The Shooting Script via io9
  5. Sean Mort
  6. fredvanlente via

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A Dreadful Fine Title Page: Or, A Vast Amount of Absolutely Necessary Information

Posted in culture, humor on August 17th, 2010 by Samuel Kenyon

This is the title page of an 1879 dictionary I have:


The full title is 506 characters. That’s 3.61 tweets!

And it’s quite the self-marketing title–in a single 512-page book they have amassed every useful word and a vast amount of absolutely necessary information. It reminds me of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy a bit.


The title of this post is taken from the absolutely necessary section of the book called “SLANG AND VULGAR PHRASES” which informs us that “dreadful fine” is a contradiction. Here are few interesting quotes from that section:

At loggerheads is uncouth.
Bad box.—”He is in a bad box” has a vulgar air. Say bad predicament, or unpleasant situation.
Comeatable, for approachable; as, “European monarchs are not easily comeatable.”
Fizzle should be applied only to inglorious failures.
Full chisel.—”He went full chisel” is an absurd expression. Say “as fast as he could,” or “he ran his best.”
“How’s yourself, this morning,” savors of the familiarity that breeds contempt.
Otherguess, for otherguise, very different from, or superior to
A precious mess, a pretty kettle of fish, mean nothing.
Crank, for pert, saucy; as, “He was so crank that he was little respected.” New England.

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Liberation of Tools

Posted in artificial intelligence, humor, interaction design, interfaces, robotics on February 25th, 2010 by Samuel Kenyon

Without the existence of parody, I would have far less hope for our society. Robert Brockway’s recent article on the Cracked website, “If The Internet Wins The Nobel: A Proposed Acceptance Speech,” makes fun of the effort to give the internet the Nobel Peace Prize.

Unfortunately the Nobel Prize agency hides the nominees list for 50 years in a secret volcano lair, so I’m not sure if the intertubes is actually a nominee right now.

Brockway points out the strangeness of recent awards/nominations to abstract concepts, such as “You” for Time’s Person of the Year. Why don’t we nominate abstract concepts for President?  Brockway bemoans the internet’s qualifications, concluding that this would really be a peace prize for pornography.

Despite his brilliance, Brockway misses one aspect of the internet that makes it somewhat different than other abstract concepts, which is that it’s also a tool. Even if you disagree with the usage, the acceptance of a tool for a major award may be a predecessor to a future culture in which intelligence, personhood and rights apply to a myriad forms, not just humans.   And not just in object-oriented forms.

“In the future, your clothes will be smarter than you.”
Scott Adams

The interfaces of the web allow us to interact with agents who may not be human. Would you care if other players in multiplayer games were bots, as long as they acted like humans? Would you follow software agents on Twitter? I certainly would.  Would you have sex with a sufficiently humanlike robot (or web agent + peripheral)?  I certainly…um…

“Smart” gadgets now are still relatively idiotic. But we’ll have more and better mobile assistants and home appliances in the future. Also, if we can work out the interfaces, automatic systems and software agents will become better at doing online chores and information aggregation for us.

In the real world, augmented pets and socially adept robots may be among your friends. Telepresence robots will let you interact in the same physical space with remote humans, software agents, pets, corporations, etc.

This could be the era in which humans finally start accepting machines, distributed systems, and other non-humans as people. Or if not as people, than as new classes of rights-bearing entities.

Bonus points to anybody who makes an “I for one welcome…” comment.

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How to Tell Your Friend They Have a Problem with Comic Sans

Posted in humor, interaction design on February 16th, 2010 by Samuel Kenyon

Credit: arnoKath

A friend, family member, or coworker who abuses the Comic Sans font presents a danger to himself and to others. This person may be risking their position at work, ruining family relationships, and making poor decisions that result in financial disaster. It is often a difficult and daunting task to confront a friend about such a problem. Nevertheless, such a confrontation could save your friend’s life. Comic Sans abusers do not believe that they need help. It is an action of love to introduce the subject and help your friend confront these demons.


  1. Be sure that your friend or coworker really has a Comic Sans problem.
  2. Prepare a strategic plan of action. Talk with a typographer and ask on how you can help your friend’s Comic Sans problem. What you can do for your friend depends a lot by your age, the help resources and your friend him/her self.
  3. Write down how you want to help your friend. Before you approach your friend, ask yourself, “What do I want to get out of this meeting?” Possible objectives might be:
    • A realization that this lifestyle is destructive.
    • An honest admission of Comic Sans use.
    • A desire to be Comic Sans-free.
    • Agreement to ask for help.
    • Attendance at a support group.
    • A system of accountability.
    • Enrollment in a Comic Sans rehabilitation program.
    • Reconciliation with estranged family members.
    • Restitution for damage to others.
    • Surrender to authorities for outstanding warrants.
  4. Approach your friend with a nonjudgmental voice. Confrontations that begin with “You should…” or “You shouldn’t…” will turn the discussion into a battle that will force your friend to defend him or herself. A better approach might be, “When you use Comic Sans, I feel sad and I get worried you might be hurting yourself and putting yourself into harms way.” It means that you should talk about your feelings toward your friend.
  5. State your commitment to your friend. One of the greatest fears of the Comic Sans abuser is that he will lose his friends or family if he is found out. Offering support in the rehabilitation process is important. Offer to attend 12-step meetings with your friend. Offer to be there if he has to tell his parents and other superiors about his abuse.
  6. Be the example. It is important that you walk the walk as well as talk the talk. If you are going to help someone get clear of Comic Sans, you must be willing to go Comic Sans free as well.
  7. Do not enable your friend. Make it clear that you will not tolerate his Comic Sans use and will not associate with him when he is using. This is not the same as never talking with him, but it means you will walk away if you see him using.
  8. Get the help of capable people. Do not do this alone if possible. An intervention is far more successful if others are present. If you are young, talk to a parent or a teacher or a counselor or a principal. Don’t stop seeking help until someone listens to you and offers to help.
  9. Gather a variety of possible solutions. It is not easy to get someone to admit that they have a Comic Sans addiction. After your approached your friend you can give possible solutions. It’s better to go through the the information in the forms of brochures or videos that you can hand to your friend so that he may see help is available.
  10. Be direct in your approach. Be clear and direct. “I saw you formatting an HTML email yesterday and I felt scared.” “When you use Comic Sans, I get afraid that you will say and do things that will hurt my feelings and my body.” “I will not hang around you when you are using or are under the influence of Comic Sans.” “I want to help you kick the habit, I know of a Comic Sans Abuser Anonymous meeting tonight at 8, I will go with you and sit through the meeting to help you check it out.”

Attribution: This is a remix of WikiHow (Creative Commons license).

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